Those of us on the other side of graduation day offer our congratulations and advice. We're ready to dispense knowledge from years of experience such as "Live your life to the fullest" and "Take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way". These vague directives mean very little to an eighteen to twenty-something year old person as they usually don't recognize those opportunities until years pass and living life to the fullest probably means spending nights in coffee shops and days in bed. These graduates need some very specific direction just like what they've gotten used to hearing everyday for the last twelve-odd years in school.
MONDAY- throw away all the pizza boxes and drink cans from the weekend.
TUESDAY- decide which of your dirty jeans are clean enough to wear this week.
WEDNESDAY- stay up all night to catch up on schoolwork for tomorrow. Thank you RedBull.
THURSDAY- find your toothbrush under the pile of towels and brush teeth before going out.
FRIDAY- use your day off school to catch up on sleep.
SATURDAY- show school spirit at football game by painting your face school colors (body if male) and covering your hair with glitter.
SUNDAY- reflect on your week and vow to use your time more wisely.